Posts tagged move

What do I have a GIVENNESS NOW to?

Move me midst my memories mourned.



I’ve got my memories, always inside of me,
But I can’t go back, back to how it was.
I believe you now, I’ve come too far
No, I can’t go back, back to how it was.
Switchfoot, This Is Home

My memories…

Rewound.  Replayed.  Remembered.



When the “old self” can be mourned for who he was and who he was not, the “new self” can then be borne for who he is and who he is not.


…when I want both, I have neither. 

…when I have both, I want neither.



Constantly coming from…but not without looking back while leaving, grieving ghosts, and questioning quests, before belonging and becoming.


That was then.…and this is now. 

This is now...because that was then. 



Gazing in gratitude and grief.

Leaving in the liberation of loss.



I am moved.



I have a GIVENNESS NOW to move me midst my memories mourned.

What do I have a GIVENNESS NOW to?

The knight’s move to checkmate.


Check?

Or checkmate?


“The knight in chess does not move in a straight line, as all the other pieces do.  In each of his moves, the knight makes two bounds, the second at right angles to the first, often to the sudden dismay of the opponent.

It seems to me that I was simply moved like a chessman.  It is not often that we catch so much as a glimpse of God’s hand in the moves of our lives. 

I was given such a glimpse; and I find it awesome.

It was the knight’s move.  Christ was the player.”


I read these words, from Under the Mercy, by Sheldon Vanuaken.  But did I believe these words, from Under the Mercy, by Sheldon Vanuaken?

The knight was moved only minutes later.


An unexpected errand forced me to put the book down. 

My oldest son left the house immediately after I did, to get to his class on time.  I took a left down the road.  He followed, even though it would have been quicker for him to take a different route to the college.

Suddenly, I saw him in my rear view mirror speeding up to catch me.  Pulling up to the right of my vehicle, he motioned for me to lower my window.  I couldn’t because the power of the inoperable passenger window, but somehow he understood that I wanted him to take a sharp right into the gas station that we were approaching immediately ahead.

We pulled into the gas station and parked.  Why did we stop?  I thought Gabe wanted my attention…he thought I wanted his attention.

He decided to get gas, since he was there.  I went to pay for him.  But before I could, an older woman came running up to me.  With tears in her eyes, she graciously asked if there was any possible way for me to give her any pocket change I had, for a gallon of gas, and maybe, water.

I was simply moved like a chessman.  My first bound was straight, but my second bound, a right angle to my first.  For her gas, water…and food. 


I do not move in a straight line, as all the other pieces do.  The moves of my life are not mine.  And, when stubborn and selfish…to my dismay.


It was the knight’s move. 


Check?

No…checkmate.

Christ is the player.


I was given such a glimpse.

At a gas station.


Awesome.



I have a GIVENNESS NOW to the knight’s move to checkmate.